in·ad·e·quate
/inˈadikwit/
Adjective
1. Not adequate; lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose.
2. (of a person) Unable to deal with a situation or with life: "inadequate to the task".
Synonyms
insufficient - unsuitable - inappropriate - unfit
| That's the textbook definition. What it DOESN'T tell you, is that when you FEEL inadequate, you feel like crap. No joke. I just feel somehow... that i'm not up to par. I don't know if i can do it. I don't know if i can keep up. I don't know if i can make it in time. And all the while, i'm worrying about whether it's good, whether it's okay, whether it's enough, from all aspects. Whether i'm good, whether i'm okay, whether i'm enough. And i can't help but wonder if people doubt my capabilities. I'm not saying i'm not capable of anything, because i KNOW, with enough practice, time and experience, i can be whatever the hell i want. But i'm just saying that right now, at this point of time, i DO feel incapable. I feel quite useless and a drag, and eventhough i'm doing the best that i can, i still don't feel like it's enough. Or ever going to be enough. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This post was written on the 26th of May, 2013. I've decided to publish it without completing it on the 16th of September, 2013. If i recall, i was thinking about my dance routine while typing this out. And since my performance is over, i don't really have a need for this post anymore. That doesn't mean that i won't ever feel this way again; i just lost the fire to write it. But it still remains an important part of my dancing process, so i've decided to publish it. Signed, Jwen. |
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