Introspective

Thinking. Musing. Pondering. Wondering.

What about?

Basically general stuff any normal human might think about once in awhile. Their future. Life. Plans. Past.

I'm reviewing all my past achievements and experiences and reflecting on whether it has made me more complete as a person. The past does play a big part into making who i am today. Am i truly satisfied with what i have done so far? If no, what can i do now so that i can be happier with myself in the future?

Sometimes i feel like i'm too caught up trying to perfect everything. It's not healthy. And yet i can' t help but try because if i don't, it would mean that i'm not doing my best. And i can't have that, can i? I don't want to regret something because i didn't give it my all.

Yet, this 'doing the best that i can' attitude is preventing me from starting anything at all. Because i'm afraid of failure. It's quite contradicting, cause it means that i'm not doing anything. Because i don't start, i won't be able to say that i didn't do my best, because i haven't started anything in the first place. I assure you, it doesn't make sense, even to me.

But i still do it. My very core is infused with this unfathomable logic. Combined with my lack of drive and passion, i'm stuck within the barriers of my mind.

I wish i could break out of this loop.